Working Backwards by Brad Bridges

“Do you regularly jump out of planes?” he said. “Um. Uh. Of course not,” I said to the life insurance agent. I thought to myself, “Did he really just ask if I jump out of planes?” It was a good question, I guess.

Honestly, life insurance freaks me out. Death is scary. It’s out of my control. It’s painful. It’s sad. How much should I get? Do I provide better now for my wife and daughter or sacrifice more now “just in case” I die? Am I a good husband?

Now, don’t lie. You’ve felt those things before. You’ve questioned your decisions. You’ve thought about the creepiness factor in death. Don’t lie.

So why, fundamentally, do any of us care about life insurance? Why does it matter what we leave behind? Fundamentally, I think it’s tied up in our identity. It’s tied up in our desire to have made a difference; to have left a legacy. We want our lives to matter.

Paul dealt with similar issues. I think he wanted to leave a legacy too. He wanted his life to matter. He encouraged the Ephesian elders at Miletus through his presence, his words, and his actions (Acts 20:18-24). Do you want to do that? I do.

Think about it. To live a life that people care about inspires me. But why? Do I want to be famous? No, not really. Do I want to just get attention? Of course not. That isn’t my main goal. So what is it?

Honestly, I think there’s a positive and a negative side. Positively, a husband/father should provide and contribute (i.e. love his family). Negatively, my fear, self-doubt, and worry usually stem from a cognitive knowledge of the Gospel that resists its application. Let me explain.

I have no reason to worry about death. I know that. I’ve known for years that I would go to heaven. But I worry. I worry because I want control. I worry because I often value more what I have to offer than what Christ offers on the cross.

On the cross he offers life to those who lose it. He secured my future. Okay, I know that too. But practically I fight the truth. I resist the safety for a façade.

Life insurance is a good thing. Trusting in it for my security isn’t. Wise people prepare for the future. Do you plan for the future out of fear or out of obedience? Obedient plans emphasize responsibility rather than control or fear. When trust is accurately placed in Christ, issues such as fear, control, and self-doubt decrease (I didn’t say they go away entirely).

When you find yourself worrying, anxious, nervous, angry, or frustrated, ask yourself a question. Is my thinking (right now) being governed by Christ’s completed work? Or are my thoughts concentrated on my own failure, an offense caused by another person, or my fear of not being in control? Hard times will come. However, endurance is built up on Christ’s shoulders, not our own.