From My Head to My Heart by Christina Darnell

I’m a reader. I am usually reading at least 3 books at a time. Over the years, I have acquired a lot of head knowledge - which is useless when it doesn’t produce fruit. Recently, God has taught me truth that has transported from my head into my heart, and I got to see the Word take action in my life.

For the past few years, I was treading water. What is my purpose? What does God want to do with my life? What kind of job should I pursue? These questions created a whirlwind of confusion in my mind. I prayed and offered them to God, but instead of comfort and peace, I experienced indecision, frustration, and a general lack of contentment. I looked around and saw people my age who were happy, stable, and moving forward and I wondered What’s wrong with me? I was so consumed with figuring it all out that nothing else mattered. Things had to change. I thought that my circumstances needed to change, but God began to show me that it was I who needed to change. I needed to live in faith instead of fear, so I began praying for focus and confirmation.

I started selling Mary Kay back in April. I love skincare and makeup (always have), so it’s a great fit for me. I have been half-committed, though, and undecided about making it a career. Does it fit within God’s plan for my life? Is it stupid to build my own business instead of getting a traditional job? Does this even utilize my skills? The first weekend in November, we had our 2009 Beach Retreat, and hundreds of women from the Charlotte area traveled to Myrtle Beach for training, motivation, and camaraderie. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I specifically prayed that God would confirm that weekend whether I should continue. I don’t want to spend my time doing things that won’t have lasting value in my life.

When I arrived, I entered a raffle to win some fun goodies, one of which was a one-on-one coaching session with the guest speaker, Kirk Gillespie. Kirk is a National Sales Director, one of the top positions within Mary Kay…she knows what she’s doing. She also happens to be a Christ-centered woman, and her commitment to Him shined through in all of her training. I wanted to talk with her. I prayed for that one-on-one coaching session – I even had my roommates praying for me. Usually, my prayers are more like, “Lord, change me. Let your will be done.” Vague things like that. It scared me to pray for something so specific, because it was either going to be answered or it wasn’t. But I knew I was at a crossroads in my life, and I needed counsel. Well, the raffle came and went…and I didn’t win.

After training on Saturday, we had a break, and five of us went for a walk on the beach. I was determined not to show my disappointment. Instead I chose to enjoy the wonders of the ocean and focus on the writing ideas I could glean from the weekend. As I studied the rifts in the sand, Kirk Gillespie ran up and fell into step with us. Okay, keep in mind, there were hundreds of women there, and the guest speaker decided to join us. I ended up next to her and, after giving myself a pep talk, asked her one of my questions. Before I knew it, everyone else was a hundred feet behind us, and I was pouring out my heart about the dreams God has placed on my heart and my doubt about how Mary Kay fit into them. Her genuine heart for God was evident in all of her advice, and suddenly I realized that God had given me my own miracle.

He answered my prayers for that weekend. Not only did He send Kirk my way, but He also reminded me that He sees me, He hears me, and He loves me. I have been focusing on scripture passages about trusting in the Lord and Him making my paths straight. After meditating on those scriptures and praying them, I actually saw God do it. What did I learn? Psalm 138:8 says, “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.” It isn’t my job to create my path. The Lord has my life in His hands, and He will perfect it.