An Ending and a Beginning by Sherri Tyler

The day I lost my mother my whole world came crashing in. It had only been two weeks since I had sat in a hospital room alone with her while the doctor explained that she had cancer. I walked out into the hall and asked him to be honest with me and tell me how long she had. He replied “she may have a month or two, or it may be as short as a few weeks.” I thanked him and went back into the room to my mother. I asked her if she understood what he had just said, and she shook her head no. I told her that he said she had cancer, and that it was bad. She looked at me with a blank look. I was not sure she understood, so I explained that there was nothing they could do for her. I watched the expression on her face change as she began to understand what I was trying to tell her. Then with a peaceful expression of understanding she said simply, “Ok then and smiled.” She said she could get through this as long as I stayed with her. She made me promise not to leave her side. I told her I would be there and we would get through this together. Then I put my head in her lap and cried. For the last time, I felt my mother comfort me. That was the last time I allowed myself to cry in front of her. I spent a lot of time holding her hand so she knew I was there, but I never let her feel my pain. I wanted her to know I was going to be okay, and that she had done her job well and I would be fine. That was so far from the truth. I think she probably knew. Mothers are wise like that.

It happened so quickly. I have never felt more alone in my life then when my mother passed away. I also think I have never felt the friendship and love of God more than since her departure from this world. God is always there; watching over us as we stumble through life.

Joshua 1:5 "No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you."

It is hard at times to notice God’s presence when the busy hustle and bustle of life gets in the way. We build our life and our support systems and forget to consider God. I think this is why quiet time with God is so important. It gives us time to listen to the voice we seldom hear when the pressures of the world are pressing in on us. When I came home after mother’s death I was alone. The silence was oppressive. I had time to think and feel and listen. God’s voice came in loud and clear.

It’s been almost two years since my mother died. There is never a day that passes when I do not think of her and miss her. The pain is just as intense. They say that time heals all wounds, but I don’t know if the pain will ever change. Only the passing of time will teach me if this is true. What I do know today, that I did not really know before, is that God is there for us. I am one of those who do not have a clear gift for discernment, but I know this; I have clearly seen God work in my life since my mother died. He has shown me that I do walk on this earth alone, but also that I am not alone. He will help us through the hard times and celebrate with us in the good.

Psalms 46: 1-3 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear thought the earth should change, thought the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult.”

God is there for us every day and every minute of our lives; we just have to acknowledge him. We should talk to God as if he is in the room. We should make him a part of our daily lives. This is where prayer belongs, not just in the time when we get on our knees although this is important time too, but in the daily activities of life. I used to talk to my mother every day. I didn’t talk to God every day. He should have been the first person on my list of calls to make. When we look back at our lives and think of the events that have shaped us into who we are today, we can pinpoint the really important events. For me, the death of my mother is the most important event to impact my relationship with God. It has taught me that the only person who will be there for us, for all of our lives, is God. He is there from beginning to end.

Revelations 22:13 “I am the alpha and the omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.”

God wants us to lean on him, ask him for advice, and share our joys, as well as our sorrows. God wants it all and deserves it all. I am glad that God is a patient God. It took many years for me to come to the understanding that he wants us to look to him first for support.

This event has also taught me that what is really important is what we do while we are here, who we care for in our lives, and what we share with others. What is also important is to share that life with God.

One of the blessings of being a Christian is the knowledge that one day we will see our loved ones again.

1 Thess 4:17 “After that, we who are alive, who are left, shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air; and so we shall always be with the Lord.”

I can honestly say that this one truth has made the days bearable.

My mother always said she didn’t have a good singing voice. One day I will stand next to my mother and the two of us will be lifting our voices in praise to him for his grace. I know the expression on her face will be that wonderful smile I remember from that day in the hospital when she looked at me with a mother’s love.

She has left a legacy……

Nichole Nordeman - Legacy

I want to leave a legacy.
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to Love?
Did I point to you enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering. A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically, and leave that kind of legacy.
……not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred. Just want to hear instead, “Well done good and faithful one…”