There I sat in front of the mall, waiting for my sister-in-law to show up. She had just called and asked me to meet her. She wanted to give me resources I needed to run an errand for her. Once again, I was completely overwhelmed with the plethora of commitments I had made. There were at least three events that I had tentatively said “yes” to for that evening. How did I manage to get myself into these stressful situations? My mother, visiting from out of town, sat down next to me and sighed. She lovingly started communicating that, for the sake of my own sanity, I had to start learning to say “no”. Oftentimes, my stress came from my own choosing.
As her words sank in, God convicted me of their truth. Sometimes I said “yes” out of reaction without taking the time to think about it. Other times it was due to the guilt of saying “no” to something that was good, even godly. Mostly, I was afraid to say “no” because I didn’t want to disappoint the people closest to me. I hated the thought of someone being at odds with me. Whatever our reasons, an inability to say “no” can lead us into stress and skewed priorities.
The Bible teaches that we should do our best to live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18). I finally had to ask myself, “What keeps the peace more?” Was it saying “yes” to everything and then having to back down? Or was it saying “yes” to some things and following through – and saying “no” to others, confidently and kindly, and becoming known as a woman of my word?
God never intended us to do everything. Yes, there are many needs out there, but you are not responsible to meet all of them. We are a body of believers, each intended to make up a part so that together we make up the whole. We bring more glory to God when we faithfully do our part with joy than when we stretch ourselves thin trying to fulfill every need we see.
Part of my issue was that I wasn’t confident in choosing what to say “yes” and “no” to. I would make my yeses tentative because I was afraid something better would come along. As God convicted me of these principles and led me through His Word, He showed me that He wants us to be confident in the will He has for us. We don’t attain that confidence by being passive. Romans 12:2 states, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will” (emphasis added).
The key to making godly priorities – to making “yes” and “no” decisions – is renewing our mind. The world (and even the church) loves to tell us what our priorities should be, and those priorities will lead to stress. Accepting the priorities that God gives to us may be hard work, but it will lead to a life of peace. A renewed mind comes from daily time with Him, from being selective with what we look at and listen to, and from surrounding ourselves with godly influences. As we do this, and as we learn what to say “yes” and “no” to, we will simplify our lives, participating in the things which will bring us the greatest return – a life that glorifies our Savior.
Lord, help me not to be controlled by the pressures of this world, but to have priorities that are in line with your plan for my life. Give me discernment so I can know when to say “yes” and when to say “no,” and give me the strength to follow through with both so that I can become a person of my word and, therefore, honor You.
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